Don't take a ride that you're not ready for.  Set up your roadblocks!

How did we end up in the bedroom?

It may seem like a long road from holding hands to having sex, but one night you might find yourself barreling down that road at about a hundred miles an hour, in the dark, and you can't find the brake, and there are no cops around to help you, and you're about to go right over the cliff, and . . .

Well, okay, you get the idea. In the heat of the moment, it's a lot more difficult to stop if you haven't set up some boundaries and communicated them clearly. People who are successful at abstinence have thought ahead and set "Unshakeable Unbreakable" boundaries, deciding where to draw the line before any type of sexual activity takes place. If you haven't set limits, it's easier to drift into doing things that you're not ready for or don't even want.

Don't take a ride that you're not ready for. Set up your roadblocks!

Sex-Free Dating


Okay, you've found someone that you think you'd like to spend a little more time with, like, say, a whole afternoon or evening. Now that, my friend, would be called a "date".

Date (dat), noun: 1. A social appointment. They went out on a date to dinner and a movie. 2. A person with whom a social appointment is made: He asked her to be his date for the basketball game.

All right, now that we have that cleared up, let's move on. First of all, the activity you pick for the date plays a big part in the date itself. A fun activity that feels comfortable to both people can make for a great time. The activity also determines how much talking you will have to do. For instance, if you choose a movie you won't have to say anything once the movie starts (unless you plan on being one of those obnoxious people who talk during movies which would pretty much guarantee there won't be a second date), but if you go out to dinner you will have to carry a conversation all night long (which, even if you have no problem chatting through a two-hour movie, you might find yourself at a loss for words by the time the salad is served).

Here are three types of dates that are universally accepted. Not very creative but maybe a good place to start.

A MOVIE is definitely safe and probably the most popular first date. You may be able to juice up the creativity a bit by letting your date choose the film, or by putting a bunch of movie names in a hat and picking one at random when you get together.
A NICE DINNER is another classic; however, as mentioned above, dinner means that you are going to have to think of something to talk about for a good chunk of time and sometimes that can be a little challenging, especially on the first date. You could always try a double date: that cuts your chat requirements by about 50%.
A DANCE OR A GAME is an option since high schools are always having dances and football games. Even if you loathe sports or have two left feet, the atmosphere of these events is generally fun for a first date.
If these ideas bore you to tears, here are some more options. A lot of these are fun for a first date and many work well if there are two or more couples.

Bowling — If you don't mind taking off your shoes in front of someone
Rock Climbing — But don't spring this one on your date; she may be wearing high heels
Play Cards — But not for money unless you live in Las Vegas
Take Dance Lessons — And then if you make it to a second date, you can use #3 above
Miniature Golf — A summer date; very chilly in the winter
Ice Skating — A winter date; in the summer, it's called a "swimming pool"
Amusement Parks — Just be cautious about eating a lot and then going on the Spinning Teacups
Concerts — Excellent option: if you run out of things to say, you can close your eyes and pretend you're way into the music
Getting Ice Cream Together — Also generally a summer date; though could be a charming and quirky winter choice unless you have a long walk home in the snow
Hiking or Nature Walks — Works for summer or winter; particularly great if you do some awesome bird calls
Bike Riding — But B.Y.O.H. [Bring Your Own Helmet]; concussions are never fun on a first date. Or any date, for that matter
Roller Blading — See above
Tennis — Can be fun because you get to yell "Love" a lot
Horse Back Riding — Romantic; unless you're allergic
Skiing — Brave choice; and you can write sweet things on her leg cast
Water skiing — Very brave choice; not to be attempted unless you look cute in a wet suit
Exercising Together — Not to be attempted unless you look cute sweaty
Zoo — Will win big points if your date is an animal lover
Museums — Will win big points if your date is an art lover
Shopping Together — Will win big points if your date is a mall lover
Public Gardens — Romantic; unless you're allergic
Picnic — Just toss sandwiches and Cokes in a little basket — instant date
Walk on the Beach — Rushing water; looking for seashells and sunsets; can't beat it
Visit a Park — What could be a better first date than to go down a slide together?
Send us your ideas for a fun and creative date. Happy dating!

 

DID YOU KNOW...
In the U.S., teens spend an average of six to seven hours each day with some form of media.