You have the POWER!

Really. It may not feel like it, but you do. It may feel like the whole world has more influence over your child than you, but take a step back and think: Who is the first tangible example of relationships for your kid? You and your relationships! Who have they known the longest in their short lives? You! In whose house do they do most of their living, eating and sleeping? Yours (hopefully)! Who has the power? You do!

In a 2003 survey by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, 45% of teenagers said their parents influenced their attitudes about sex most strongly as opposed to only 31% who said their strongest influence was their friends. While a majority of teens say parents most influence their sexual decisions, parents still believe that teens' friends are most influential.

The survey also reveals that most teens (88%) say that it would be easier for them to postpone sexual activity and avoid teen pregnancy if they were able to have more open, honest conversations about these topics with their parents, yet nearly one in four (23%) of teens say they have never discussed sex, contraception, or pregnancy with their parents. Six out of ten teens (59%) surveyed also said that their parents are their role models for healthy, responsible relationships.

In another study by the Center of Adolescent Health and Development, researchers found the two most significant factors in cutting high-risk behaviors were parent-child connectedness and parents with a clear and fully communicated expectation of their children's behavior.

The first thing you have to know to have the power is that you do actually have some power. Teenagers have it rough these days. Sex, tobacco, violence and drugs are constantly in front of them. They are the target of millions of dollars of advertising for everything from the latest hip sneaker to sexually graphic video games. Parents have a responsibility to provide a safe refuge for their deluged teens and help them sort through the mess. Who has the power? You do.

So what would happen if you decided to have faith in your power? What if you believed that in spite of all the pressures teens face, that they are able to say "no"? What if we took the time to really listen and really discuss the consequences of certain behaviors? What if we helped them come up with a plan to wait and survival skills for the times they are faced with pressures to have sex? What would happen?

You might just give them the power.