I started having sex in high school and one time I thought I got an STD. I could not believe it! I really started to reflect on my life and realized I was doing things I never thought I would do. I was doing things my friends in high school used to do; things I never wanted to do. I had a girlfriend for 2 1/2 years while at the end of high school and we were having sex after 6 months into the relationship, until we broke up. I thought that because I had a girlfriend it was okay to do what I was doing. We broke up right before I turned 21 years old.
After turning 21, I was going out and drinking a few weekends a month with friends. One evening while I was drunk at a party, I starting hitting on a girl and she took me up on my sexual offer. She gave me oral sex that night. When I got home, I knew what I did was wrong. I didn't even know this woman. I got so anxious over what I had done and I made myself sick, thinking it was her that made me sick and that maybe she had passed something to me, like genital herpes. I couldn't believe I was dealing with this situation. I was now worrying about a virus that I may have to live with for the rest of my life. I am thankful that I did not contract anything and that by chance, or by God, I am disease free.
I decided after that night that I would never have sex again until I get married. I have remained a virgin now for 3 years. It's BAD when you're the one who either gets an STD or thinks you've gotten an STD. It was never worth it, a few minutes of sexual pleasure could have destroyed my life. It’s challenging, but I will continue to make positive choices about sex because I do not want to go through those feelings of fear, worry and guilt ever again.
It doesn't feel good to remember these things and expose my life to others, but this is the truth. This is what I have done, and where I have been. I hope what I have share can help you to start over.